Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
