Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
smell my finger.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
