i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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