I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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