you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize