Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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