Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
