omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
