Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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