Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
