if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
