every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
