sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
