I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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