You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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