i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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