no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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