the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
