clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
