Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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