normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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