I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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