you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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