i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize