I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
