Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
