I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
