We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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