Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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