I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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