I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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