I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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