So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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