I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
