youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
