He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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