I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
