hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
