how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
