Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
