So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Drunk is not a location!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
