That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize