Where is the hickey?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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