drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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