In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize