week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
