And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize