yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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