thus making me awesome and them whores
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
