I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize
