I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
