i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
