So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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