Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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