so that wasnt chicken after all
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
