It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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