whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
