return my video game
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
