Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
