and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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