She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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