Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
