Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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